Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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