If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
