I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize