he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
