Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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