I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
