I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
