About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
