Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
