college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Terrible idea I love it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
