she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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