i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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