my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
