He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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