her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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