It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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