people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
