So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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