I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
