Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
