Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
