So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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