Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
