I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
