when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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