Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
id be glad to
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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