Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
