its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize