Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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