i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize