Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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