so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
