WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
