Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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