It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you will always have a special place in my vag
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i drank out of a bidet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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