It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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