The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
