i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
