Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
