Sponge bath it is.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
