yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
