giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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