Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
