the condom got lost in my hair
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
