He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize