I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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