Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
