Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
