Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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