u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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