If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
