i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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