During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
