my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
