After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
