found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
